For too long, this blog has focused on being average.
Here’s how you can be better than everyone.
1. Spend, spend, spend.
You Only Live Once.
Saving is for those who are scared.
Instead, spend like every day is your last.
You have to make your days count. What’s the point of saving when you won’t reach financial freedom anyway? Might as well enjoy your life.
Money just burns a hole in your pocket.
You are surrounded with things to buy, and why shouldn’t you?
You’ve worked hard for this money, and it’s totally up to you how you spend it.
So spend every last dollar you have.
2. Save, save, save.
You never know what tomorrow will bring.
Better to save in case something goes wrong.
Don’t spend on those frivolous things.
You can spend on them when you retire.
For now, you have to hunker down and save.
Life is only meant to be enjoyed in retirement.
You’ll start spending when you retire.
Even though you’ve never allowed yourself to spend a single extra cent.
Surely you’ll start the moment you reach financial independence.
Only 15 more years of frugality to go.
3. You are the smartest investor
You have big ideas about which stocks will be the next big thing, and you’re not afraid to put your money where your mouth is.
You are smarter than all other investors out there.
You know things that others don’t.
Even those full time employees of investment banks on Wall Street aren’t as smart as you.
You’re the person who has found out something that no other person has.
You’re the smartest.
And the market will surely reward you for it.
4. Listen to your gut
Trust your intuition.
Bad times are coming soon. Others just don’t know it yet.
But they will regret it when the whole edifice comes crumbling down.
You’re smarter than them. You’ll get out before they do.
Every piece of negative news is just confirmation that the big drawdown is coming.
You’ll be ahead of the pack.
You’ll get out before they do.
And when the bad times are over, you’ll be ready to jump back in.
Follow all of these tips and you’ll be better than everyone else at personal finance and investing, especially the big boys.
Disclaimer
This is satire.
You are not supposed to do any of these things above.
But I think we fall prey to at least one of these thoughts.
In that case, it’s time to take a step back and see why we feel that way.
And perhaps read this blog to learn more about personal finance and investing.
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